I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
