Me. At least after what I've been through.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
