I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
