That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
