I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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