My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me