sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.