I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much