I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
