Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
