I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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