I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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