To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
