capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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