The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
