Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
