Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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