tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
