Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
