I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
