I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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