Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
