yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
