it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
