she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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