she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize