I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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