Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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