he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
