Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
