come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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