I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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