My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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