Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just googled if crying burns calories
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
