Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
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I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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