Dual....:-)
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
