She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
