Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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