is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pants are for mortals
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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