I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
