Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
