Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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