I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
