a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
