I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The beer is more important than you right now.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
