you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
