I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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