just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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