I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
