Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize