hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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