apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No subtext here. People are naked.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
