Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
