Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
