I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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