he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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