Plan B is the new Plan A
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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