Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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