Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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