that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
How's work?
Spinning.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
