dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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