this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize