Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
