If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
